Se podra morir de tristeza?
-- Esta noche te extranio mucho, y siento que estoy mas lejos de ti, mucho mas lejos que ayer.
Mis ojos me pesan, no quiero dormir, no puedo.
Y por otra parte quiero dormir y soniarte.
Quizas dentro del suenio podramos solucionar lo que nos pesa.
y quizas hasta volvamos a estar juntos cuando despierte.
Hoy me fui con un sabor amargo en la boca
pero aun asi te quiero.......
te quiero......
te quiero............
“Andábamos sin buscarnos pero sabiendo que andábamos para encontrarnos” Julio Cortázar
miércoles, octubre 20, 2010
sábado, octubre 16, 2010
Closure....
So we reunited again during one of my travels to Latin America only this time we knew that we were caught in what could potentially lead us to a riveting affair we waited for twenty-something years or so. You looked older, and though in reality you are younger than me, you had not aged as well as I, yet those features I liked of you when we remained, your blond hair, fair skin, tall, and lean body..intact.
You led me to your condo by the beach, it was huge. I knew we would have some fun there, catching up... but instead you wanted to make love to me for lack of a better word. The word "sex" occurred to me but sounded cheap and meaningless though I knew perfectly well that we weren't in love, and never were and suddenly realized that I didn't want to be with you anymore and did not have the heart to turn you away. So I went to the bathroom disrobed and took a shower hoping that perhaps you would join me and I would have a change of heart but that didn't work. You waited for me half naked on your bed and I was taken away by your gorgeous body, how could I be so lucky and not want to sleep with you? And its true, I didn't want to but willed myself to you and we kissed, yet the kiss lacked passion, feeling, and I felt it though I doubt you felt that way too. You wanted to have unprotected sex and I cleverly said ' you don't know where I've been, nor do I know where you've been...' and you realized that I was right and fumbled around looking for a a condom. I was buying myself time, but my hear was not with you so as you looked, I wrapped my arms around you and whispered in your ear...'you know, I had the biggest crush on you in junior high school, and when I told you how I felt, all you said was 'thank you'. --- and that's the truth, I remember it well, could not forget that to this day...and as I reminded you of that moment, I smiled, because it didn't matter to me anymore, it was something that I just remembered as a funny anecdote , because boys can be so funny and imature when they are young. And there I was naked, about to make love to you.... about to have you and I didn't want you.
You didn't sense this.. and as I reflected on this irony of the moment, I realized that I could not justify making love to you without loving you and decided to walk away. - The End.
You led me to your condo by the beach, it was huge. I knew we would have some fun there, catching up... but instead you wanted to make love to me for lack of a better word. The word "sex" occurred to me but sounded cheap and meaningless though I knew perfectly well that we weren't in love, and never were and suddenly realized that I didn't want to be with you anymore and did not have the heart to turn you away. So I went to the bathroom disrobed and took a shower hoping that perhaps you would join me and I would have a change of heart but that didn't work. You waited for me half naked on your bed and I was taken away by your gorgeous body, how could I be so lucky and not want to sleep with you? And its true, I didn't want to but willed myself to you and we kissed, yet the kiss lacked passion, feeling, and I felt it though I doubt you felt that way too. You wanted to have unprotected sex and I cleverly said ' you don't know where I've been, nor do I know where you've been...' and you realized that I was right and fumbled around looking for a a condom. I was buying myself time, but my hear was not with you so as you looked, I wrapped my arms around you and whispered in your ear...'you know, I had the biggest crush on you in junior high school, and when I told you how I felt, all you said was 'thank you'. --- and that's the truth, I remember it well, could not forget that to this day...and as I reminded you of that moment, I smiled, because it didn't matter to me anymore, it was something that I just remembered as a funny anecdote , because boys can be so funny and imature when they are young. And there I was naked, about to make love to you.... about to have you and I didn't want you.
You didn't sense this.. and as I reflected on this irony of the moment, I realized that I could not justify making love to you without loving you and decided to walk away. - The End.
252C0338-DB07-3D67-4F1B-9B71A4FB413C
1.03.01
domingo, octubre 10, 2010
You and I... till the end of the world.
It's been a long time since I've met you boy, and part of me thinks I've forgotten about you and yet part of me knows that I don't. But last night, you chose to manifest yourself and creep out of my subconscious right into my dreams. For the record, we didn't hold a serious relationship, we drifted together one summer night on the bus ride to Acapulco... and fell in love in a series of meaningful yet playful conversations typical of eighteen year old's, so as you can imagine they were as deep as can be when you are that young.
But going back to my dream... we were back in time, but older. I knew it because of the wrinkles on my face, and noticed them on yours when I checked as you pressed me tightly against your chest. We enjoyed each others company but there was no sexual tension. Who know where it went, but I wanted to be there with you nonetheless.
We enjoyed the cool night breeze as we gazed up at the stars from the rooftop of my house. I knew it was bizarre sitting beside you in silence when we usually have so much to say. My young cousin was desperately trying to draw your attention, but we stared at the spectacle she made of herself. She was pretty, but not as pretty as me. I was secure of your affection towards me... (you always made me feel that way.)
One winter evening and barely saying a word, we found our way to Canada and then we boarded the next train to Alaska. The cold weather didn't stop us, we were bundled up. If love led the way, we knew instinctively that we were destined to nowhere but we withstood the heartache of the inevitable...only a few more hours and we would be there. We witnessed how others prepared for the end, the government rounded up the last of the few that were still trying to leave, but you and I knew there was no way to save anyone anymore, we knew it though we didn't say it.
The tides rose on the horizon, the open sea was monstrous, menacing, promising to come and wash us away if we didn't flee. Officers led us to an abandoned school, sickly children were nursed by volunteers. I knew we wouldn't survive, nobody would. Love nor God could save us from the inevitable.... the world was running on time, we were on a collision course to the end of time as we know it...
But going back to my dream... we were back in time, but older. I knew it because of the wrinkles on my face, and noticed them on yours when I checked as you pressed me tightly against your chest. We enjoyed each others company but there was no sexual tension. Who know where it went, but I wanted to be there with you nonetheless.
We enjoyed the cool night breeze as we gazed up at the stars from the rooftop of my house. I knew it was bizarre sitting beside you in silence when we usually have so much to say. My young cousin was desperately trying to draw your attention, but we stared at the spectacle she made of herself. She was pretty, but not as pretty as me. I was secure of your affection towards me... (you always made me feel that way.)
One winter evening and barely saying a word, we found our way to Canada and then we boarded the next train to Alaska. The cold weather didn't stop us, we were bundled up. If love led the way, we knew instinctively that we were destined to nowhere but we withstood the heartache of the inevitable...only a few more hours and we would be there. We witnessed how others prepared for the end, the government rounded up the last of the few that were still trying to leave, but you and I knew there was no way to save anyone anymore, we knew it though we didn't say it.
The tides rose on the horizon, the open sea was monstrous, menacing, promising to come and wash us away if we didn't flee. Officers led us to an abandoned school, sickly children were nursed by volunteers. I knew we wouldn't survive, nobody would. Love nor God could save us from the inevitable.... the world was running on time, we were on a collision course to the end of time as we know it...
252C0338-DB07-3D67-4F1B-9B71A4FB413C
1.03.01
sábado, septiembre 04, 2010
A ver si te olvidas...
A ver si te olvidas de mi...
y mientras te das cuenta que te hago falta en tu intento....
ya no me interesara si vuelves o no pues te quedaste en un retrato
en otros tiempos.
y mientras te das cuenta que te hago falta en tu intento....
ya no me interesara si vuelves o no pues te quedaste en un retrato
en otros tiempos.
sábado, julio 10, 2010
Preguntas
A ti,
Que te hace perder el sueño?
En quien piensas cuando te sientes triste? A que le tienes miedo?
Que te hace sonreir, saltar, reir, en resumen ser feliz?
Que te gustaria aprender? conocer?
Crees que te volverias a enamorar?
Si te concediera solo un deseo que desearias?
En quien sueñas, y piensas recurridamente?
lunes, junio 21, 2010
No eres
No eres la clase de persona que quiero en mi vida. Lo debi saber desde un principio, cuando me diste las primeras señas de tu forma de amar.
No debes llamarte hombre, debes llamarte animal.
porque no me supiste amar, mientras yo si te supe querer.
Fueron muchas veces las que te perdone,y que no quise ver tus mentiras,
mientras que yo sola me traicionaba perdiendo mi tiempo contigo.
Por esto y mas no eres la clase de persona que quiero en mi vida.
Doy gracias que ya te fuiste, porque nunca valiste ni un suspiro.
Doy gracias que ya saliste de mi vida, porque al fin puedo desprenderme de ti, e irme tranquila hacia un futuro limpio y nuevo.
No quiero desaprovechar esta oportunidad para decirte Adios por siempre, y declarar que al fin me quite la benda de los ojos.
No debes llamarte hombre, debes llamarte animal.
porque no me supiste amar, mientras yo si te supe querer.
Fueron muchas veces las que te perdone,y que no quise ver tus mentiras,
mientras que yo sola me traicionaba perdiendo mi tiempo contigo.
Por esto y mas no eres la clase de persona que quiero en mi vida.
Doy gracias que ya te fuiste, porque nunca valiste ni un suspiro.
Doy gracias que ya saliste de mi vida, porque al fin puedo desprenderme de ti, e irme tranquila hacia un futuro limpio y nuevo.
No quiero desaprovechar esta oportunidad para decirte Adios por siempre, y declarar que al fin me quite la benda de los ojos.
sábado, junio 05, 2010
Good Bye
A little bit of drama never hurt anybody,
But when you left, yes, it hurt a little.
but in the end it's only just
that you chose to say good-bye first.
Truth said, I'd lost you a long time ago.
and I was used to it that way,
but now it truly feels like the end of the road.
And so as you venture out there to a world without me,
I know I can finally say good-bye too.
Have a great life, you deserve it.
And thank you so much, for the memories.
I truly hope you're happy.
But when you left, yes, it hurt a little.
but in the end it's only just
that you chose to say good-bye first.
Truth said, I'd lost you a long time ago.
and I was used to it that way,
but now it truly feels like the end of the road.
And so as you venture out there to a world without me,
I know I can finally say good-bye too.
Have a great life, you deserve it.
And thank you so much, for the memories.
I truly hope you're happy.
miércoles, mayo 19, 2010
empiezo a creer...
Empiezo a creer que ya no te quiero
y como lo se?
es muy simple...
Porque en mis deseos quiero
que seas muy feliz y
mucho mas de la cuenta.
No me dueles,
Ni me siento presa de tu
bonito recuerdo.
Porque cuando quiera,
podre visitarte en mi
nostalgia y revivir
los recuerdos de mi niñez
Que hoy son tan fugaces
como los sueños.
y como lo se?
es muy simple...
Porque en mis deseos quiero
que seas muy feliz y
mucho mas de la cuenta.
No me dueles,
Ni me siento presa de tu
bonito recuerdo.
Porque cuando quiera,
podre visitarte en mi
nostalgia y revivir
los recuerdos de mi niñez
Que hoy son tan fugaces
como los sueños.
sábado, mayo 15, 2010
y despues...
Un dia moriran las personas que mas quiero y amo.
No quisiera pensar en esa realidad, sin embargo
es una verdad inegable.
Yo no quisiera temerle a la muerte,
y que pasa si no hay nada, ni nadie esperandome mas alla de la muerte?
y si todo se acaba en ese momento que cierre mis ojos,
no habra un despues, ni importara el pasado...
porque amar? sentir? existir? si nada en vida
importara despues de la muerte?
No quisiera pensar en esa realidad, sin embargo
es una verdad inegable.
Yo no quisiera temerle a la muerte,
y que pasa si no hay nada, ni nadie esperandome mas alla de la muerte?
y si todo se acaba en ese momento que cierre mis ojos,
no habra un despues, ni importara el pasado...
porque amar? sentir? existir? si nada en vida
importara despues de la muerte?
jueves, mayo 06, 2010
lunes, abril 05, 2010
por siempre en mis suenios
poco a poco muero todos los dias
y parte de mi se olvida
de lo poco que me queda de mis suenos infantiles.
Hace mucho tiempo, recuerdo cuando
podia escribirte, y tu me contestabas..
sabia mientras leia tus cartas cuidadosamente
que me dabas buenos consejos
y sabia entonces como lo se ahora porque lo hacias
y espero que supieras que te amaba doble, y dos veces mas intensamente que tu a mi.
En el fondo, aun se, que un amor como ese permanece sin medida.
mirando a tras, la ultima vez que te vi, no podia creer mis ojos,
estabas ahi, pero te habias ido
y aun asi, podia hablar contigo,
y mas que nunca antes sabia que me oias
y que aun puedo hablar contigo,
y tu por siempre en mis suenios.
Yo Te Amo.
y parte de mi se olvida
de lo poco que me queda de mis suenos infantiles.
Hace mucho tiempo, recuerdo cuando
podia escribirte, y tu me contestabas..
sabia mientras leia tus cartas cuidadosamente
que me dabas buenos consejos
y sabia entonces como lo se ahora porque lo hacias
y espero que supieras que te amaba doble, y dos veces mas intensamente que tu a mi.
En el fondo, aun se, que un amor como ese permanece sin medida.
mirando a tras, la ultima vez que te vi, no podia creer mis ojos,
estabas ahi, pero te habias ido
y aun asi, podia hablar contigo,
y mas que nunca antes sabia que me oias
y que aun puedo hablar contigo,
y tu por siempre en mis suenios.
Yo Te Amo.
forever in my dreams
little by little I die, every day...
and part of me forgets
what I have left of my childhood dreams.
A long time ago, I remember when
I could write to you and you would write me back.
I knew as I read your letters carefully that you gave me great advice
I knew then as I know now why you did
and hope you knew that I loved you twice as much, and twice as hard
as you me.
Deep inside, I still know that love like that, remains immeasurable.
looking back, the last time I saw you I couldn't believe my eyes
you were there, but were already gone...
and yet I could talk to you
and more than ever before I knew you heard me
I still can talk to you
and you...forever in my dreams.
I <3 U
and part of me forgets
what I have left of my childhood dreams.
A long time ago, I remember when
I could write to you and you would write me back.
I knew as I read your letters carefully that you gave me great advice
I knew then as I know now why you did
and hope you knew that I loved you twice as much, and twice as hard
as you me.
Deep inside, I still know that love like that, remains immeasurable.
looking back, the last time I saw you I couldn't believe my eyes
you were there, but were already gone...
and yet I could talk to you
and more than ever before I knew you heard me
I still can talk to you
and you...forever in my dreams.
I <3 U
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